A couple of things I’ve observed lately have caused me to write this brief opinion piece about grudges and why I think (actually I know) they are unhealthy and really nothing but destructive to one’s life ultimately.
A grudge is something that you hold against another person or maybe even a group of people when you’ve perceived that they have some how done you wrong, taken advantage of you, or put you at some sort of disadvantage in life. It essentially takes an incident or a perceived wrong doing and forces you to relive it over and over again, making you relive the feelings of inferiority, fear, anxiety or whatever it made you feel the first time it happened.
These feelings take your sense of power away, and they only make you feel anxious every time you think of them, or closed up inside. They usually result in feelings of hate or anger, which have shown to cause elevated levels of cortisol and other hormones in the body that are nothing but destructive and totally counterproductive.
Grudges leach your energy to do new, better and creative things with your life. They put you on the repeat cycle and get you stuck in a rut because they rob you of time and energy and direct it to negative thoughts and feelings, which are self perpetuating.
I’ve been there, and that is what grudges have done to me so I’m speaking from experience. I’ve learned to let them go and move on as quickly as possible. I may sever a relationship if I feel really strongly about them, or I may just choose to ignore the incident in question and move forward, but minimize contact with the “perpetrator” if they have proven to be a repeat offender in hurting my feelings or being a bad influence in my life.
I’ve found letting go of grudges to be incredibly freeing. I really do believe that negative thoughts only produce more negative thoughts, so I’m a big believer it keeping it positive and preserving energy for more important things. Trust me, you’ll feel better!